10 Ways to Become More Likable And Loveable are here to go.
We all have varying levels of social competence. Some people are naturally personable and have an easy time endearing themselves to others. Others may be gregarious but socially awkward, while others may be timid or introverted and find certain social encounters to be too taxing or unsatisfying. To put it another way, some people place a higher value on being liked than others.
Ultimately, it is up to us. The context, our positions and functions within the group, the individuals around us, how much we have in common with them, their and our biases, and a number of other factors all play a part. Regardless of how likeable we are, some people will never warm up to us. They may be adamantly opposed to our lifestyles, culture, or choices, irritated by one or more of our characteristics, harbour hidden grudges and resentments, or just be tough people who cannot be persuaded to change their beliefs. While it is feasible to improve our likability in general, we must keep in mind that we cannot appeal to everyone all of the time.
There are things you can do to make yourself more likeable if people replied to you more warmly and honestly, or with more acceptance. 10 Ways to Become More Likable And Loveable
10 Ways to Become More Likable And Loveable
- Improve your listening skills. People prefer to be heard, and there are no short routes here. To be a good listener, you must pay attention to what the other person is saying (rather than jumping to the next amazing tale you want to tell as soon as they stop speaking) and find ways to show that you’re paying attention. Nods of the head, ohs, and ahs can go a long way.
- Be encouraging. When someone raises a little gripe (“I had to work all weekend,” for example), it may appear cool to make light of it. “Well, that’s why you make so much money!”), whereas the other person is hoping for approval (“Aw, that’s a bummer.”). Show honest congratulations if someone tells you about something they’ve accomplished; if someone tells you about something sad, offer sincere sympathy. If someone tells you about a fantastic experience, express your delight.
- Keep in touch. This is a rare opportunity that most people overlook. If someone tells you they’re going to take a test, inquire about how it went. Inquire about their vacation if you know they took one. Inquire on their child’s health if they said that he or she was sick. People keep track of when they give you information, and following up with them the next time you see them or via text shows that you paid attention and cared enough to inquire or comment about it late. This can help you gain a lot of likability points.
- Find a point of agreement. When meeting somebody you don’t know well or for the first time, attempt to find mutual interests, hobbies, viewpoints, taste in movies, books, shows, music, or fashion, holiday spots, or anything else that might generate connective tissue between you.
- Make use of your body language. Make eye contact, smile, stand or sit with an open posture (arms to your side rather than folded over your chest) and, as previously noted, nod when someone is speaking to demonstrate you’re paying attention. We tend to notice a person’s body language intuitively rather than deliberately, but we do, and it contributes to our impressions of likability.
- Put away your phone. Simply keep it in your pocket or bag when you’re speaking with others. If you’re sitting at a table, at the very least turn it over. Stealing glances at your phone — which is difficult not to do when it’s right next to you or in your hand — indicate that you’re not fully listening (at best) or that you’re distracted and disinterested, neither of which will endear you to the other person. Even if they have their phone out, put yours away and be more present.
- Don’t whine excessively. Complaints can serve a societal purpose by allowing people to identify common ground (“I disliked that movie!” “Me too!”). However, while a single complaint (or two) can provide common ground, a litany of complaints and being overly negative is a turnoff (“My boss is so annoying, and the subway is just terrible these days, so it’s not my fault I’m late, plus I’m stuck down there and it’s crowded, and you know how rude people are in the heat…”). If we want to come across as more likeable, we should try to have a more cheerful viewpoint, even if our mood is gloomy at the time. It’s important to strike a balance between being optimistic and being genuine, so don’t put on a show. Rather, focus on topics about which you can seem upbeat even when you’re in a bad mood (e.g., “My nephew is such a delight”).
- Don’t try to take over the conversation. Even if you’re a fantastic storyteller and a captivating conversationalist, others want to be on stage with you. So keep track of how much (time) you’re talking in comparison to the other person(s) in the conversation. People notice these imbalances and react negatively to them, no matter how much they appear to love your stories at the moment.
- Don’t brag about your accomplishments. The humblebrag is included in this. If the topic is “I caught the biggest fish,” by all means, add your two cents. However, name dropping (which includes not only persons but also universities, institutions, and organisations), success stories, social media followings, and other methods of letting others know how great you are are frequently a turn-off.
- Keep the amount of disagreement to a bare minimum. “Let me play devil’s advocate,” is one of the most irritating sentences. It is not necessary or constructive to focus on areas of disagreement, no matter how strong an argument you can make, unless you know a person extremely well, in which case your likability is not an issue. Don’t say, “Truly?” if they appreciated a movie because it “really made me think.” “I thought it was a waste of time.” Say something like, “I wish they had gone farther into the friendship idea,” or something like. In other words, people prefer it when others agree with them, so don’t bring up points of contention unless the matter is extremely important to you; even then, keep it light.
Being friendly boils down to being pleasant, making people feel at ease and welcome, as well as accepting, understanding, and appreciating them. Keep those instructions in mind, and if you’re not sure what to say, less is more.
